


Dear Lydia

by Manessa77



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:51:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3130187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manessa77/pseuds/Manessa77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teen Wolf AU </p>
<p>After Stiles passes away, Lydia finds something special he has left behind for her only to realize that he may has been more than just a friend to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Lydia

The small strawberry blonde wandered through the halls of Beacon Hills High, no sounds but the subtle and even clicks of her shoes were around her as she headed for the lockers room. A cold shiver, which ran down Lydia spine – not the first time since that one night had changed her life – made her wrap her arms around herself tightly.

It was about a week ago when everyone had agreed to meeting in the lake house that Lydia’s family owned. Everything was back to normal – no more Benefactor, no more fear of being killed, no more Kate or Peter around – it was worth celebrating and they all well deserved a break.

Lydia wasn’t feeling well all through the day, some utter feeling deep in her guts that told her something wasn’t right. But she told off, something was probably just wrong with the food she had in the cafeteria. Instead of heading to the lake house right after school, she gave Scott the keys and the promise she’d come by later after finishing her homework.

And she did try to concentrate on her homework but every five minutes her phone would go off, displaying either a call or a text message from Stiles. Lydia had tried to avoid the boy for the past couple of weeks. With everything calming down she had felt uncomfortable every time she saw Stiles with Malia, though she couldn’t tell exactly where those feelings came from.

Looking back now she hated herself for not meeting with them and for avoiding Stiles, who so desperately tried to have a conversation – any kind of conversation – with her during the time.

The last clear memory she had of that day was the scream that escaped her mouth. Everything else was a blur. Her mother running into her room. Kira showing up at her house. Hearing the story of what happened at the lake house over and over again, yet not understanding anything, refusing to believe any word. Spending hours in the Sheriff station. Everyone going crazy as they returned one by one from the Hospital while Lydia sat in the chair, wrapped in Parrish’s jacket that couldn’t help to stop her shivering. She would never accept the fact that Stiles Stilinski was dead. Ever.

But here she was now, walking down the corridor of the school. Her mother had told her to get back to normal, that she shouldn’t lose track. But how could she walk through the same halls that she used to walk with him, knowing he’d never been here again?

When searching for evidences, Scott’s father had sneaked a box that was marked for Lydia. Inside Lydia could find the most random things she could imagine. A framed picture of the tree she had drawn. An old stuffed animal that she had accused him of stealing when they were in fourth grade. Pictures of them that were taken the night they were at the prom together. What caught most of Lydia’s attention were several folders that contained many closed envelops. Every single one of them had a date written on it.

Lydia had acted strong all the time, had put on a facade to hide how miserable she felt all the time. But the moment she entered the locker room, the facade broke down and she could barely keep herself on her feet.

With her back pressed against the cold wall of the girls locker room, Lydia pulled out the first envelope and turned it in her hands, inspecting it. Written on it was a date that must have gone back to some when during the summer break after third grade. Carefully, Lydia let her fingers slide along the paper, opening the envelope without destroying it. She unfolded the letter and scanned it. It started off with a neat but childish handwriting which it got messier with every word.

 

 

**_Dear Lydia,_ **

**_Today I decided to commit to something. From today on I will write you a letter. Every day. Because you are the most beautiful girl in school. Maybe even in the whole wide world but I can’t say that because I have barely been out of Beacon Hills._ **

**_Scott says I’m crazy and disgusting for liking girls but you are just too perfect not to be liked. You are really smart and you dress nicely. You also have a pretty handwriting and I like your lunch box. No seriously, your lunch box is really cool._ **

**_Now every day I will write a letter to you. Maybe one day you will not ignore me and then I will give them to you._ **

  
**_With Love,_ **

**_Stiles._ **

 

 

Lydia felt the tears building up in her eyes and quickly brushed them off with the back of her hand, too scared that just one tear drop would end up on the paper and make a word unreadable.

She had read a lot of novels and has watched all the romantic movies, but she had never felt more touched by something like she felt right now. Lydia knew Stiles liked her – a lot – but she had never thought that he had liked her that much for such a long time. Had she never noticed or had she just ignored it?

After going through the letter one more time, sucking in every single word, she carefully placed the letter back in the envelope and looked at the others. Stiles had actually managed to write a letter nearly every single day from that day on and she had a lot of pieces of paper in front of her. Lydia was more than eager to read every single one, wanting to bring Stiles back to life by reading his words and thoughts. But her hands shook uncontrollable as she reached out for the next envelope.

 

_It’s alright. You are the strongest girl I know. You can do it._

 

With her eyes wide open the strawberry blonde looked through the room, searching for the source of the voice. She knew without a doubt that it was Stiles who had spoken to her, she would never forget that voice, but it sounded realer than any voice she had ever heard before.

 

I _'m right here for you. It's okay._

 

Okay? Nothing was okay, Stiles was gone. How could anything ever be okay?

 

_It will be okay one day again, I promise. Keep on reading. I want you to._

 

Lydia nodded, of course she would keep on reading. With Stiles gone, her tether gone, the letters were the only connection she had left.

Taking in a deep breath Lydia reached out, taking a random letter which was dated a few years after the last one and carefully pulled the paper out. The handwriting was way cleaner and more consisted than it was in the other letter.

 

 

_**Dear Lydia,** _

_**I know Christmas is already over and all of that. But I just want to say thank you. You probably don’t remember why I want to thank you. But I remember. And I will remember forever.** _

_**I remember every second of you walking past me. I thought you would ignore me again when I wished you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (even though it’s already a few days in). But you didn’t ignore me. You looked at me with that pretty smile that is always on your lips and then you said ‘You too’. Two simple words. But I swear my heart was going crazy. And you said ‘Nice sweater’. That didn’t help my heartbeat to slow down at all. But either way, I went ahead and bought that sweater a couple times more. I could have picked different colors, I know, but I wasn’t sure if you’d also find them nice so I stick to the same one I already had. Best money investment ever.** _

_**So it looks like this is gonna be a good year, right? I mean between you and me. It started of great so I hope it will only go upwards.** _

_**Anyway. I also hope you liked the little present I left in your locker – even though I know you thought it was from Jackson. And it’s okay that you do. It made me so happy when I saw your smile the moment you found it and that was all I needed, all I wanted to achieve with this gift.** _

_**Anyway, that’s it for today I guess. Until tomorrow, Lydia.** _

  
_**With love,** _

_**Stiles.** _

 

 

Her world started to break with every word. She couldn’t help but let the tears run down her face. Lydia knew Stiles since they were little kids but only now she realized and admitted it to herself that she liked Stiles more than just as a friend. She, Lydia Martin, was in love with Stiles Stilinski.

 

_It’s still my favorite shirt until today. I still have it, even though it won’t fit anymore._

 

A smile appeared on Lydia’s face. Even now that Stiles was gone he still made her smile more than anyone else.

 

_Who says I’m gone?_

 

Lydia looked up and through her thick lashes she saw the pale face of the boy she missed so much. And though he looked faded and dead, the smile brought the life back into Stiles’ eyes.

 

_I’m always gonna be here for you. Just think of me whenever you need me._

 

Stiles placed a comforting hand on Lydia’s shoulder, nodding his head towards the letters that lay next to Lydia. More confident now she took another envelope and opened it.

 

 

_**Dear Lydia,** _

_**This will be a lot of rambling but I hope you don’t mind.** _

_**So remember how I told you Scott was odd and all? Well, turns out he turned into a freaking werewolf. Yeah, those things really exist. He freaks out a little bit here and there but I’ve done a lot of reading and we will manage it. Somehow. I will be his Yoda! It’s not too bad to be a werewolf though. You’ve seen Scott during the game, he has never been that good before!** _

_**But Scott and Allison – they are kind of a thing now, I suppose. And since she is your friend maybe the four of us could go out together sometime? Without Jackson, of course. Let’s be honest, he kind of sucks. But we all have a wear point in our life where we are with people that don’t even deserve us. And you deserve way better than Jackson. Not necessary me! But someone who treats you like you should be treated. Because you’re still the special girl I met so many years ago.** _

_**With love,** _

_**Stiles.** _

 

 

Stiles started to laugh but his lips didn’t move when Lydia heard his voice in her head.

 

_And I was right again! We did manage it, didn’t we? I was right._

 

“You died. Nothing will ever be okay again nor did we manage anything! And that’s all my fault.”

 

_How could it be your fault? Nobody could have guessed what would happen. You are safe. And everyone else is safe as well. That is all that matters._

 

“But how should I go on without you?” Lydia’s voice was nothing but a whisper underneath her tears. “Why did you leave me alone?”

 

The smile on Stiles’ face faded and his thumb brushed over her cheeks even though he couldn’t brush the tears away.

 

_I didn’t leave you alone. I’m always going to be there for you. I promise. I wouldn’t leave you, ever. No matter what._

 

Lydia let out a sigh. Instead of thinking of ways how Lydia could have said the boy, she reached out for another letter.

 

 

**_Lydia,_ **

**_I don’t know what’s going on, all I know is that I’m not myself anymore. It feels as if a dark shadow has taken control of me. But I promised to write to you and I will even though it won’t be a lot … I don’t know how long my sanity will last._ **

**_But no matter if it’s him or me, it’s still you on my mind._ **

**_With loves,_ **

**_Stiles._ **

 

 

Lydia hated to think back to this time of her life, especially after seeing how shaky Stiles’ handwriting looked, so she quickly stuffed the letter back into it’s envelope. She collected the other envelopes, putting them carefully back into the folders and into her purse when a piece of paper caught her eye. It wasn’t in an envelope but judging by the dates on the other envelopes it must have been written at the day of his death.

Lydia eyed Stiles who had gotten up and was now standing in the door frame as she unfolded the letter. Sucking in a deep breath she lowered her eyes and focused on the words.

 

 

_**Dear Lydia,** _

_**I’m sorry.** _

_**Now I don’t know exactly what I did but I want you to know that I’m terrible sorry. And that I miss you. I thought we made such a big step forward and we were friends – that’s what I thought at least. But now you ignore me like you used to do. And it pains me.** _

_**I know that you are lying when you say you are busy with homework. Your right eye twitches when you lie. I know so because there is no face in the world I’d rather observe than yours. For hours. Every day. Over and over again.** _

_**What’s the reason? Did I say or do something that hurt you? Do you feel miserable again because of Allison and Aiden? You know I’m always there to talk. Or is something wrong with your mom? Is she okay?** _

_**Is it about Malia? Because she is my girlfriend and because I spend so much time with her? You know I’d come whenever you call, Lydia. She is not you and she never will be you or replace you. No one could ever replace you, not in a million years. Because you are special and there will always be a place in my heart that belongs to you. Only you. I really really like her but I love you. That won’t change.** _

_**Never mind. I’m hoping that we can talk tonight at the meeting. I miss our conversations. About the most random facts if you want. For example the fact that Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear any pants.** _

_**Until later. In love,** _

_**Stiles.** _

 

 

A single tear ran down Lydia’s cheek and landed on the letter. She looked up, searching for the pale figure she had just seen standing in the door frame. But there was nobody to see as she whispered “I love you too”.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I came up with for the Stydia Secret Santa 2014 over at tumblr.  
> I never intended that to go into such a horrible and sad direction.  
> 


End file.
